keeping up appearances....

Oh what web we weave, when we practice to deceive !... 

So time to come clean...time to fess up!

I am in no way near my goal that I had planned for my Birthday. I have a little less then 30 days left, and there is no way I can loss 40 pounds! Yes 40 to the goal of 200... as of today I weigh 240!

There I said it!!!.. I gained about 10 pounds in the last 2 months.. 

Reason:

Well stress mostly!

a.  losing my job! 

b. family problems

c.  stress at the gym, not really having enough money to pay for more private training lessons.

I am going to the gym every night again; but from now on, no trainer, I can't afford it... this takes a new mind set!

Working out with my trainer twice a week:

Up till last December I was seeing my trainer 2x a week. Since January, only once a week, sometimes only once every two weeks. And if you take a look at my weight -loss progress chart, it's really been since January 2009 that my weight-loss has slowed down to a crawl. It really comes down to seeing my personal trainer on a more regular basis! getting into a strict regime ! And by seeing my trainer, my eating habits would be better and in more control. 

Old Habits Die Hard!

Eating is the real problem. I have gotten back  into my old  bad habit of eating stuff I shouldn't late at night. Like ice cream!  or Chocolate.. oh how I just love chocolate... 

I saw an article this week in the National Enquirer about Kirstie Alley, and she too, would start the day off on track, small healthy breakfast, workout with her trainer, but then later at night, alone in the dark, back to old habits... 

CHRIST! 

How many women out there suffer from this same syndrome... starting every day with a fresh, clean slate, and then by 11pm ... some weird sub-conscious action takes over your mind, you end up eating and extra 500- 1000 calories late night snack.. then boom.. all your days action ruined!

oh.. give me strength!....